Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Randomize
