you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
