you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
