Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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