I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Rumble strips road head = magical
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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