Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
