Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
