I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
