I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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