I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize