DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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