Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Randomize
