i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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