Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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