Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
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