i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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