wat bout pragnant strippers??
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
