Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
