dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Enjoy the penises
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
