i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
