So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
