dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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