...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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