i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I fill condoms, not promises.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
