Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
