It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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