I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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