Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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