Non-Jews are for practice
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
