hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Having a random hookup so left but love u
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
