Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
