a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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