He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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