It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
