dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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