Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
