OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
