The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Randomize
