i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
