some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
