You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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