My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
