I love black thongs
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize
