I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
