what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
