how can u be prego again
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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