oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
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