Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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