Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Life is so much better after having sex.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
