Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Randomize
